An Awkward Moment in the Chemo Ward
“Hey I didn’t die!” (AWKWARD)
The oncologist that had treated me for 3 years, who had told me I wasn’t going to survive my cancer, nodded his head and began to walk away.
There I was in the very same treatment rooms at the Health Sciences Centre where I’d sat for nearly 300 hundred hours in 3 years, receiving chemo.
But this time I wasn’t taking chemo, I was singing like a birdie and playing guitar for an ‘Artists in Healthcare’ program I’d been hired for.
It looked like he didn’t recognize me, so I went running after him and said, “Hey Dr. R., it’s me, Beth Martens!”
He looked at me vacantly.
I was stunned.
He wasn’t happy to see me. And he didn’t seem the least bit interested how I survived against the odds and without following his advice.
He didn’t ask me a single question. Not ‘how are you?’, never mind, ‘How on earth did you survive?’
I quickly realized there was no point in telling him how I discovered archetypes and the secret of living from my true instincts, from love instead of fear.
But I just went back to singing like a birdie and doing my job to help those hooked up to their IV’s have a less shit day.
He ended his life a few years later, and I can’t even begin to imagine how painful his work must have been.
Just six months earlier I heard the words I didn’t want to hear, but that saved my soul.
“Your cancer is back.” I knew it long before tests showed it.
“According to the stats,” my oncologist said, “You’re not going to survive this. Your only chance to live is a stem cell transplant…”
The stats also said that half those who received a stem cell transplant die. And it took a year to even begin recovering. (I watched my son’s uncle die this way many years later.)
Some would say it was a no-brainer to go with half a chance to live.
Half a chance to live, but under what condition??? A ‘NO’ bomb went off in my head and I said I’d get back to them.
With this bleak news I was called to dig deeper in myself than I’d thought I could dig. I didn’t have the words to describe what I was called to do at that time, but I was tapping into my true instincts.
I went into an around-the-clock inward journey to make the decision about whether I should accept their “treatment” or face my death, whether that was now or whenever.
Archetypes saved my Mermaid ass.
I had become a great fan of Caroline Myss whose ‘Sacred Contracts’ landed in McNally Robinson that very minute. Without even looking at what the book was about I took it home and ravenously poured through it, looking for some basis for making this monumental decision.
And boom, there it was.
I had been doing everything “right”, you name it, natural, conventional, mystical, scientific…I went for it. But I suddenly saw I was doing it all with an unconscious fear of being sick and losing my life.
And it was coming true before my eyes.
The moment I dove into myself and the sublime realm of archetypes I saw the fear that was draining the life from me.
And I decided with a very strong resolve to stop it.
To stop being in fear.
And start being in love, the only other option.
I instantly made my decision.
It was crystal clear to me, because I saw my instincts for what they really were. A deep love for life, for my unique mission in life and for myself. I discovered how deeply in love my soul was with my body.
No matter what the outcome, if I lived or died, I faced my mortality. I faced my fear head on. And I began to recover, that moment.
My oncologist and my family thought I was bananas for refusing the stem cell transplant. They thought I was committing suicide.
Instincts don’t speak in fear.
I suddenly knew that true instincts only speak in love, not fear. I realized my job wasn’t to “save” my life at all cost, but to nurture and grow my soul, to be intimate with it, to see my life purpose with a clarity that I never imagined possible and to fulfill my sacred contract no matter what.
On November 16 I’m hosting a deep dive into the Nature Child archetype that governs over our basic instincts. It’s for those Mermaids that have faced struggles that brought them to their knees, who surrendered to their call to heal and who dug deep inside for the true wisdom that only love can bring.
You know if you had the courage, energy and sense of security, you would do YOUR thing that only YOU can do, are meant to do on behalf of all humans.
If you’re like me you want with all your heart and soul to see what a natural life on earth would look and feel like. Right?
You know it’s not enough for you to get this nugget of healing elixir for yourself. You know you have to find a sustainable way to teach what you’ve learned to those with ears to hear.
Because our instincts are not only here to serve our own healing and soul’s evolution, but those who need to hear it, from us.
The Nature Child, is the first powerful step for women who dearly love and care about themselves and this planet on the journey to freedom.
It took me nearly 20 years to decode what I’ll be sharing on November 16th. In an online training I’m going to be teaching the ‘5 Elemental Steps For Going From Fear, Denial and Betrayal to Having Sustainable Superpowers for the Good of All’.
It’s a road map for this leg of the journey, simple instinctual steps that are already in your blood and bones but that have been buried under our unnatural life.
Join me to release the shadows of the Nature Child and connect directly to what you would naturally be and do if you lived in a natural world, and to the immense value that manifests when you follow your instincts and put your love into the world.
Super stoked to share this with you!
PS Feel hit the share buttons below and pass it on to anyone you think it will help to hear it. It’s freaking weird out there on our own, but together we rise!
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