Beth Martens
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Resistance is Fertile

steve-halama-135717Why Obstacles are Not a Divine Sign of Being Off Track

There isn’t a day that goes by in my coaching practice when I don’t hear this message:

“I gave up because I ran into blocks. The Universe/my inner guide was telling me this wasn’t the direction I was supposed to go.”

And the flip side, “If it’s easy that means I’m on the right track.”

It sounds so right and it’s become a popular spiritual truth.

But falling back on this ‘truism’ becomes a bigger block than all the blocks put together, because it gives us an out of what we perceive to be difficult. That allows us to fall into complacency, not to mention a sense of being separate from our own creative Source.

Make no mistake, it’s wise to seek ease. Ease means action is inspired and life-giving. But here’s how this gets twisted, and why it might not be working for us at the level of the soul’s purpose and work.

No Pain No Gain

Sound familiar? Many of us were brought up with the paradigm that things have to be hard.

Personally, before I kicked the habit of listening to my ego and calling it Divine messages, I believed that if it was worth doing, it was going to be difficult and require work. I could have success in my business, but only if I muscled my way through everything.

This was wrong thinking, and it kept me in a mode of pushing hard, getting exhausted and forgetting why I was doing anything in the first place.

I never wanted to quit, like I see many women do, but I would often fall-down, have a breakdown with my health or happiness, and have to face spending time and energy with more muscling to pick up the pieces.

But it takes too much energy, so much time, much frustration – even when I get the results I am looking for. That makes for a not-very-happy Mermaid!

So no wonder then, if that’s how you were brought up, to effort and muscle through, that you would imagine a life of greater ease. This is a right track!

The Universe is All For Us

I see and feel now, rather than just believe, that the Universe ‘wants’ us to have what we want. It’s all FOR us, not against us. Every time I follow the resistance energy itself, instead of letting it stop me from what I’m doing, I have a HUGE breakthrough!

If we are battling to be successful, to have financial abundance, to get our invaluable message out into the world and help people, be clear that we are not battling against Nature, the Universe, the Source or whatever you call those forces that Be.

That’s the big mistake.

After many years of searching within for wisdom, I now know for sure that the Universe is all for us – our happiness, our pleasures and our success.

Where Did We Get Off Track?

Where did we get off track with these ideas that if things go easily and smoothly, they are meant to be? And if we hit a rough patch, bump up against our obstacles and manifest those bumps in the world and people around us, that what we are working on is not meant to be?

We got off track at the point where we turned away from the real fight worth fighting. The real challenge worth taking on. If the Universe is all for us, then where’s all theconflict really taking place? Inside ourselves!

Thais is meant not to guide you to blame yourself for your difficulties, but to invite you to assume responsibility for it. Whatever you assume responsibility for, you get to have control over. And this is an amazing feeling, because that’s the truth of it! We pretend we’re not in control, we act out of control, but we have had it all along.

Obstacles Are Supposed to Come Up

When you go to register for that next amazing step in your journey; when you go to make arrangements for that retreat that you know will send you off into a new and needed trajectory; when you reach out and email a new potential guide, coach or mentor; when you step the heck out of your comfort zone and into something entirely new for you, watch for the obstacles to arise like clock-work. If the obstacles didn’t come up, it would mean you haven’t stretched out of your comfort zone. It would mean that what you’re trying for isn’t very important to you and your soul.

So when the email doesn’t go through; when your credit card mysteriously gets declined even though you know there’s room; when your cell phone drops the call; when you suddenly get delayed on your way to the thing that’s going to take you in that new direction; when your mom gets sick when you were just about to take a risk in fulfilling your life purpose; just smile and say hello to your resistance.

This is the most important part to know, the Universe does not speak, guide and message in resistance, fear, blocks and obstacles. It only speaks in love, allowance and passage. It’s speaking that goodness all the time, but because we are taught to honour our resistance as if it is a direct reflection of what the Universe wants for us, we are lost to it.

Resistance is actually very important, but not for the reason you think.

Resistance is Fertile

It marks the importance of what you’re doing. Be clear about it, you wouldn’t get resistance if you were staying in the ‘safety’ of the comfort zone.

To turn this around, meet your resistance and see it for what it is. Interact with it, go all the way through it to the other side where you see it for what it is. Have a love affair with your resistance, because it means freedom for you when you reclaim the energy you are using to suppress it and your life purpose too.

To that end, and because #loveconquersall, I wrote a love letter to my resistance.

Dear Resistance,

I know it seems like I hate you, because every time you come up I run away from you at all cost, distract, deny, disown… and I run from the thing I think created this bad feeling.

No more.

I love you. Thank you for trying to protect me all these years – from my success, from true love, from my life purpose and my ultimate freedom. Just wanted to let you know that I won’t be needing your services any more. Maybe you could take that vacation, or have a nap. 

Don’t worry about me, I will be fine without you. I’ve got this. I can take care of myself and you too, come closer and cozy with me.

Before you magically disappear, please know how much I appreciate you for pointing the way. I always thought you were in my way, but now I see that every time you were always showing me the door through to my next level of freedom, exactly where I needed to go, exactly what I needed to do…brilliant.

Every time I get brave enough to lean into you, I see that you are my own life/love energy in disguise helping me on my mission.

You show me where I need to lighten up, where I need to look back at my Self, instead of into the abyss of blaming outside forces for my unfulfilled dreams, potentials and desires.

So I won’t be seeing you much anymore, maybe here and there. But don’t be sad, we’re never really apart. I’m here for you if you need me, any time.

With kind love and thanks,
Beth

The next time you hit a rough patch of water, and retreat from your next risky move calling it Divine wisdom, just remember that Divine wisdom doesn’t speak in rough water. It speaks in flow, allowance, passage-way, freedom, love. We love the feeling of flow, because this is the truth of who we are.

Are you tired of being at the mercy of your resistance? If you’re finished with letting it stop you in your efforts to stretch out of your comfort zone, especially when it comes to manifesting through your life’s work, click here to leave me a personal message. Tell me about where you’re stuck in your resistance, and where you’d rather be, and I’ll give you some personal feedback about how to use it to gain your freedom.

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Beth Martens

International business coach for mermaids and creator of ‘Mer-Maven Mastery Experiences,’ Beth mentors women leaders, creatives, healers and teachers to build unique businesses from their life's work so they can serve to their heart's content without sacrificing themselves. Beth’s unique approach includes step-by-step business strategies, the magic of archetypes and various emotional release techniques

Comments (4)

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    Wendy A. Chavez

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    I have always said, when the time is right, the thing will happen whether I want it to or not, and if I have to struggle too hard to make it happen the time may not be right. Acceptance is much easier that way, and appreciation much greater when the universe seems to be pushing things to happen.

    I’m a writer, though I’ve not done much serious writing since finishing college and starting to face the real world. Of course, people are always commenting about what a good writer I am and encouraged me to do some writing on a professional level, but after 22 years I’m not necessarily confident about making a living at it. Lately, however, I feel that everything is pushing me in that direction. Most recently, my workplace got a new Executive Director who has implemented a newsletter and asked for contributions. My article detailing my brain injury and recovery was included in the first edition of the year, and several people suggested that I turn Success Stories into a regular column because I did such a good job with it. I feel good about this application of my writing skills, and since one of the services for the developmentally disabled that my company provides is career/job development, it would be an extension of the support I’ve already received from everyone at A Better Way of Living, Inc. It’s another example of how when the time is right, the universe insists that I take advantage of it.

    Resistance has its place, and it’s usually advisable to take notice of it. Where is it coming from? What is being resisted, and why? What are the sacrifices I’d make if I follow this resistance? What about if I find a way around the obstacles? Which sacrifices are worth making? At least we can gain insight by acknowledging our resistance, and that can lead to more informed choices, so there is absolutely reason to love and appreciate resistance for its own sake.

    Thank you for clarifying my own thoughts with this article. Bubbles and blessings to you!

    Reply

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      Beth Martens

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      Hi Wendy, thanks for your thoughtful comments! I’ve come to see that our non-loving feelings and the programs (like resistance) that keep them in place are doors for us. They are meant for going through, all the way to the other side, where there’s clarity and a basis for decisions that is based in love, not non-love (some kind of fear). Most end up living in front of or in the door way, and not getting to the other side where there’s freedom and clarity.

      I have lots more to share on this…

      Regarding the message you’re getting to write for a living, you might want to check out our program over at http://www.femme-preneur.ca called Natural Born Teacher. It’s a free training that will help you see the value of what you have to offer and be able to claim it. Let me know if you’d like help finding it, or to chat by Skype or phone.

      xoxo 🙂

      Kind love and cheers,
      Beth

      Reply

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    Myah

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    Thank you for the love of god for posting this. Sometimes new age philosophy can drive me absolutely up a wall with it’s inflexibility (especially with its illogical shaming of the color black)… On a side note it is 4:41 am and how did I end up on a mermaid business counseling website. I am not complaining – THIS IS AWESOME 👏

    Reply

    • Avatar

      Beth Martens

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      Hello Myah! Lovely you tripped on my website, you must have some Mer roots, LOL! I hear ya, sometimes the free access to everything spiritual is not a blessing. But it certainly gives cause for sharpening our discrimination. I see you filled out a Mermaid Archetype assessment, I’ll read them shortly and look forward to sharing them with you by email. 🙂 xo <3

      Reply

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