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5 Ways to Tell the Difference Between Your Instincts and Your Fears

So You Can Follow Your Instincts, Not Your Fears (they are not the same thing!)

Check out the video below first…

Making Decisions with Your Instincts

Women have been turning to their instincts to make their major and day-to-day decisions since before we can even remember. Of course not only women have instincts, they are universal to all living beings.

Here’s where the problem lies. In my circles I am often hearing women refer to their fears as instincts. They are listening to their fears (or other negative feelings), and calling them their instincts. And they base their decisions on their fears, missing their internal instinctive wisdom.

Guess what, they don’t get the results they’re hoping for. Here’s how I sorted it out for myself, and 5 ways to tell the difference so you can put an end to the confusion. 

Our Primal Experiences Enhance Awareness of Our Instincts

Birth and death. What holds the fabric of life together, and what allows it to dissolve back into its source. These are magnifying glasses for our primal instincts, make them seem stronger (though they are there all along, in every living being).

Nine years ago, when I was pregnant, having and mothering my son, I felt my instinct awareness kicked into a much higher gear. Many women can relate. What it helped me do, in addition to mothering my son to grow up healthy and secure, was to shift the way I did things in the rest of my life, and very much including my business.

When my dad died last fall I had the next big download about my instinctual super-powers. As I let go of the grief of his passing, and the looming sense of having no direction in my business, I discovered there was much obscuring my true instincts, covering them up and making it impossible to discern my instincts from my fears.

Learning From Mer Energy

At that time, with the help of a divine visitation of Mer archetype energy, I saw how when fears show up, we take it as an instinctual message to freeze and/or go in another direction, to move away from what is feared. Seems simple enough.

We are taught, and buy into early on in our life that our fears are protecting us. We are taught that we take our hand off a hot element, to use a classic example, because we are afraid. Without fear, the story goes, we would just let ourselves be burned.

I’ve noticed though, with the help of many years going inward and exploring the watery realm of emotions through a process called releasing, that fear actually stops me from responding to my instinct – to pull my hand away, as in the above example. Fears and thoughts are intertwined and make for a slow decision process, mired down with personal beliefs, stories and the mood of the day. Whereas the simple, un-thought-of instinct, allows an immediate response that is bang-on right for that moment (and no other).

The bottom line I see now, is that by running from the thing, person or situation that brings my fears up, I give them authority over me and let them make my decisions for me. Have you noticed like I did, that letting fear decide ultimately draws in what you’re trying to get away from? 

In fact, giving my fears authority nearly cost me my life in my late 20’s when I was diagnosed with cancer. I let it keep me away from needed treatments and went down for 3 years, a second diagnosis and barely half a chance to live. I survived after changing paths – from unconsciously running from fear of being sick and dying, to acting consciously out of love for my life, but after tonnes of needless and prolonged suffering.

Why Do We Draw in What We Fear?

When we resist what we fear, what we’re afraid of persists.

It’s innocent enough, letting our fears make our choices for us. We are trying to stay safe, keep others save and avoid the worst case scenarios we may be holding unconsciously in mind. If this so-called ‘safe’ path of fear worked, great. But it doesn’t!!

To turn it all around and give your instincts the authority, so you can move freely and confidently in the world knowing your path is right here are:

5 Ways to Tell the Difference Between Your Instincts and Your Fears

1. You Have More Energy

When you tune in with your instincts you have more energy, a sense of lightness and empowerment. When you tune in with your fear, you feel like the life is being sucked right out of you.

2. You Will Enjoy Effortless Action

In both cases we are highly motivated. If you are motivated by your instincts, movement and action will come easily, naturally, with pleasure – no matter what the desired result.

And if you are motivated by fear, your movement and actions will feel scattered, like you are running from (rather than toward) and you will be very uncomfortable until you get a desired result.

3. You Will Be Acting for the Greater Good, Including Your Self

Your instincts are connected directly with the source of life, the force of life. Your fears are connected directly with your ego, who blind to its source.

So when we get on the path of our instincts, we are going to do what is truly most life supportive – in the best interest of ourself, our family, our community and our humanity.

When we are on the path of our fear, we are going to do what is in the best interests of our ego. And what is in the best interest of the ego, almost certainly is a stuck place that begets more fears, reasons, excuses and ways out of taking healthy risks.

4. You Will Have a Greater Sense of Connection

When you go with your instincts you have an inexplicable sense of knowingness that is identical with happiness that has no sorrow. It can’t be tipped over, swayed or pushed aside. It makes you feel one with yourself and everyone.

When you go with your fear, you have a sense of dread that feels right and puts you on high alert for all the wrongs that could happen. It makes you feel separate from everyone, especially yourself.

5. You Will Hold in Mind What You Want and Let Go of What You Don’t

When you are following your instincts, you are propelled with the vision of what you would innocently like to see happen. Your instincts cooperate with your vision, give it a rudder and oars.

When you follow your fears, you will be plagued by visions of all the things you don’t want. You will find yourself trouble-shooting all the ‘problems’ that arise (inside and out) and will lose touch with what you want.

Make sense? 

Selfie with my son and I (2016)

If you’re reading all of this and saying, ‘yes, I see how I’ve mistaken my fears for my instincts’ and would like to turn it around…

Comment below (or private message me) and tell me where you’re getting stuck and would like to have more energy, effortless actions that are good for everyone, a greater sense of connectivity and the ability to hold what you want in mind. I promise to get back to you personally with some feedback!

 

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Beth Martens

Business coach, archetype reader and ‘MerPreneur', Beth Martens' calling is a life or death thing. She helps healers, teachers, coaches, artists and transformers to create divinely aligned businesses, without having to give up anything they love, or crash from going in too many directions - so they can make their big or small contribution to freeing the human community from its social, economic and mental slavery.

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